10 questions to ask yourself:

1. “Do I spend quality time with my child?” When I am with him or her am I present and interested in what is happening or am I thinking about what’s for dinner, I need to answer my phone, or do something else.
Focused parental attention makes a big difference in a child’s life.

2. Use actions not words- do you find that you repeat yourself over and over?

Ask yourself- “What action can I take that will better communicate what I am saying?” Actions really do speak louder than words.

3. Give children appropriate ways to feel powerful- “Do I allow my child the opportunity to be a contribution?” Create ways in which your child can feel like they are important and heard.

4. Use Natural Consequences- “What would happen if I did not interfere?” Oftentimes life can be a more powerful teacher.

5. If your child is continuously misbehaving - ask “What is my child trying to communicate with this misbehavior?”

6. Withdraw from Conflict- when you walk away- ask the question- “What is this conflict really about?”

7. Separate the deed from the doer- “Can I separate what my child does from who he is?” “If I start creating this distinction how would my relationship with my child be different?”

8. Be kind and firm at the same- “Is it possible for me to discipline my child without using anger, screaming or threats?” Take some time to create other strategies that can better communicate what you are trying to teach.

9. Parent with the end in mind- instead of focusing on the immediate results - ask yourself - “What do I want to accomplish with my child?”

10. Be Consistent and Follow Through- “How consistent am I? If not, then what can I do to create greater consistency in my household?”